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All reviews - Movies (63) - TV Shows (18) - Books (6) - Games (29)

Rhyming Cock and Rock is not funny.

Posted : 16 years, 4 months ago on 15 November 2007 10:36 (A review of Tenacious D in The Pick of Destiny)

Diabolical. When I saw Ben Stiller in this film, I almost died. Then he went and did the Heartbreak Kid and soon I reckon he'll be in Freddie got Fingered 2!

This film is such a wind up. Every joke is predictable, every gag was replicated and two of the most unattractive men thinking they can nail chicks is just excruciating.

When will the world learn that Tenacious D aren't funny and their 'antics' make Rock Music only applicable to stoners and airheads.


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Blackberry.

Posted : 16 years, 4 months ago on 15 November 2007 10:28 (A review of Catwoman)

She wins one Oscar and she thinks she has the power to create her own franchise based on a semi-par comic book Villain.

I don't know what Berry thought she could achieve from this. I really can't.

The only thing I enjoyed about this film was when Halle Berry had to go crawling back to X-3 after she said she wouldn't star in it. Loser.


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This is the Date Movie of all Reviews!

Posted : 16 years, 4 months ago on 15 November 2007 10:22 (A review of Date Movie)

Appauling. Hollywood has sunk low in the past but letting this film reach cinemas! I have no sympathy if anything bad happens to the creators or producers of this film.

Was it meant to be funny? The cast were practically begging me to laugh at their performances but I couldn't even do that.

Brain Damage is the only reason this film exists. This is the Donnie Darko of the Spoof Genre!


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Blade IV: Another Ridiculous Storyline

Posted : 16 years, 4 months ago on 15 November 2007 10:06 (A review of Blades of Glory)

I hated the concept of this film. Not only is John Heder untalented but him teaming up with the Ferrell who just goes for anything these days was a sure-fire mix for mindless baffoonery!

However, it is somewhat funny at times and wasn't as gruesome as I thought. But I'd never recommend it.


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Sorry, I don't smoke but I praise this m

Posted : 16 years, 5 months ago on 15 October 2007 05:20 (A review of Thank You for Smoking)

I didn't think much of the adverts for this film when it came on to Sky Movies but the boredom of being unemployed was enough for me to give it a try.

I was thoroughly impressed though. It was nothing like I imagined it and every point made was worthy of recognition. As stated already, Naylor is definitely a hero in noctine armour.

Aaron Eckhart's performance was fantastic. I am now looking forward to seeing him as Harvey Two-Face!


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Fu-goodness sake.

Posted : 16 years, 5 months ago on 14 October 2007 10:20 (A review of The Man)

LUKE GOSS AS A VILLAIN! Thats defo a laughing point for this film!

My favourite gag was where the Police Officer put Levy in with the women at the jail becoz he didn't have the heart to put him in with Harlem Nights cast.

Less than average!


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Disturbed + Suburbia

Posted : 16 years, 6 months ago on 4 October 2007 06:44 (A review of Disturbia)

I'm not a big fan of LeBeouf, I feel he brings nothing but the same character to every role. But he did alright here.

He plays a kid who is under house arrest and is so bored that he starts spying on his neighbours. More goes on than a regular neighbourhood though!!!

David Morse proved he can be quite sinister which is exactly what the neighbour needed.

I mainly watched this film because I heard of its similarities to Rear Window, which I respect highly.

Good effort.


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Not a looker in the bunch.

Posted : 16 years, 7 months ago on 31 August 2007 03:09 (A review of D.O.A.: Dead or Alive)

This goes to prove that Eric Roberts being in a film will not automatically make it good.

This is probably the worst film I've seen all year, and the year hasn't even finished yet!!

I can't recall anything about it worth noting except there is no point in wasting your life with it!


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You can't shield them anymore.

Posted : 16 years, 7 months ago on 31 August 2007 02:46 (A review of Breath of Fire III)

This was the first game I requested upon recieving my first Playstation. The internet was scarce then and so reliance of Games Magazines was the only useful way to get Intel.

I read the article on it and saw all the visuals which were so bright and cartoonish it seemed like a dream. I got the game at Christmas and moved through it so quickly that the first chpater was over in an hour or so.

Luckily the game had so much more to it. Following Ryu and his companions across the world in search of answers was a whirlwind journey which sadly has never been replicated again.

The Masters system was a favourite concept to the game. I found myself not wasting any levels on characters without them learning new skills from a Master.

The game is a timeless classic and will always hold a place in my heart for years to come.


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My Dogs are barking!

Posted : 16 years, 7 months ago on 31 August 2007 02:12 (A review of Planes, Trains & Automobiles)

I never actually appreciated this film until I was a teenager. I can't remember why but I didn't hold it in high regard until I was about 14 when I watched the most ancient of VHS's.

Its Thanksgiving and Neal Page (Steve Martin) an uptight, judgemental advertising exec needs to get home cross country to his family. He manages to hit a low on luck and every attempt to get home is foiled. The situation is made even worse when he keeps running into his binary opposite, Del Griffith (John Candy). A slobbish, blabber mouth salesman who can't do anything to stay in Neal's good books.

"I can no longer look at John Candy without imagining him as the Devil." is a common quote I hear after watching this film with a new or old viewer. Probably the most iconic scene of the film. After a few mishaps, Neal & Del are driving on the wrong side of the road. Cut to the chase, they come face to face with two juggernauts. Barely scrapping between the two hulks of engineering, the two unfortunate souls scream for their lives and spend a brief frame as a pair of wailing skeletons. As Neal turns to his left to see Del, donned in full Devil geddup, driving the doomed vehicle and laughing to Holy Hell. Comedy Class.

I've been on a lot of cross country roadtrips but none of them as hillarious as this. The film does make you think though, about the lengths we go to to be with the ones we love and that no matter what or who gets in your way you shouldn't give up. The relationship between Neal and Del is also a point of interest. They are completely wrong for each other. They shouldn't even be in the same places but fate just keeps magnetising them back to the woeful circumstances that they face throughout their trip.

The sorrowful revelation about Del's past really does open a crater in your chest. A man who seems to be at the top of his game, overly joyed, friendly and helpful harbours a pain that only few people at his age have to suffer. His influence and good-spirits spills over onto Neal which leads to the resolution between the two.

Absolutely littered with cameos, fun and frolics. Anyone born or grown up in the 80s should see this film!!


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