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From Russia with Jub.

Posted : 13 years, 1 month ago on 4 April 2008 12:18 (A review of Austin Powers: The Spy Who Shagged Me)

Although they are extremely corny and quite mundane. I generally enjoy the Austin Powers films. This one in particular was a good follow-up to the franchise.

Mike Myers has so much charisma and cheese that he usually can carry all roles. I'm actually sick of his Scottish accent though. Nailing about 4 role in these films, he literally is the film. So it boils down to whether you like Mike Myers or not

This film disposes of the resolution to the first film quite quickly allowing Austin to go back to his 60s ways.

Then every joke follows a similar formula to the first. Littered with references and homages to all genres. This is a cool family film and I can guarantee at least one smile when watching.

Now fuck off.

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If I were a religious man...

Posted : 13 years, 1 month ago on 3 April 2008 10:14 (A review of I, Robot)

...I would still enjoy this film.

After a period of sequels, Will Smith managed to bag this role which I feel he thoroughly deserved. My friend quoted to me after the film finished: "Smith is back." I couldn't have agreed more. (But then he made Hitch & Shark Tale :( )

Anyway, this film focus' around a future where Robotics have been made part of commercial society. Having an NS-4/5 is a basic necessity. Everyone has one which they rely on constantly and the company that makes them seems to have infinite resources. Perfect set-up for Dystopia!

One man defies the societal law of relying on Robots, Del Spooner! After some tragic accident, he no longer trusts the machines. They lack the emotional quality that most organic beings posess which he feels is heartless and doesn't want anything to do with them. Not in this future though! His daily routine usually involves cooperating with scallies and robots of various types. The man doesn't catch a break.

It also follows a Detective story motiff which all good dystopic future narratives should have. The investigation has him exploring what he has always dreamed of: The machines not being as perfect as everyone is lead to believe. Once again, the laws of robotics are used in mainstream cinema. However, this film manages to portray it in a different light. How AI can eventually evolve to the point where the laws have an alternate meaning.

The amazing visuals and cityscapes were worth every penny. If you're gonna portray the future you need to show more of the setting than four walls. You need to see inside and out aswell. As pointed out in Prelude's list, the product placement is shameful but I didn't find it noticeable until I saw that list so they didn't ruin my viewing pleasure.

Cue explosions, 'car' chases, malfucktions and the colour Blue. Definitely worth a watch.

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Now you listen to Old Rooter.

Posted : 13 years, 1 month ago on 30 March 2008 01:46 (A review of The Land Before Time)

Words can't express how integral this film was to my life growing up. It cannot, will not and won't be replace as one of those films I'll always remember.

Sometime in the Cretacious Period, the world has gone through many changes which has affected the land in terrible ways. Drought killing all the vegitation and seismic activity destroying the landscape. Its tough but the Dinosaurs still manage to survive.

Before the migration to an Eden-like valley most of the herbivores hatch their offspring. Cue the Heroes of the story. The young dinosaurs have been born into a harsh world and to make things worse they get seperated from their parents. The only thing keeping them going is their belief in the Great Valley.

The racial tension between Littlefoot and Cera was a great obstacle for the protagonists to thwart! The younger and naive followers: Petry, Ducky and Spike provide that childhood innocence which we can all relate too.

The most significant addition to the cast has to be the Sharp-tooth. Never has there been a more menacing and relentless foe, driven only by the need to feed. He might aswell be a child abuser with the pursuits he goes too! He even had his way with Littlefoot's Mother! You know what I mean!

The friendship grows between the quintet and by the end you share their happiness because they manage to overcome so much and no longer have to live in fear.

Everyone should watch this film.

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Posted : 13 years, 1 month ago on 30 March 2008 01:21 (A review of The Brave Little Toaster)

This movie was a fun woodland romp with a rolly polly toaster. Yes! Can you imagine a group of appliances travelling across the wilderness to get back to their Master? Well it bloody well happened in this movie!

Based on the novel and reminiscent of the Homeward Bound films, a set of appliances occupying a cabin in the mountains are awaiting the return of their Master, a young boy whose parents owned the establishment. They spend their days doing chores to keep it clean for his return....which never comes about.

The Toaster takes it upon himself to go to find the Master and enlists the help of a Radio, a Lamp, an Electric Blanket and a Vacuum Cleaner. They travel further than anyone could imagine and face danger that you wouldn't expect.

As a youngster I would watch this on repeat as it always had a feel good factor bestowed on you by the end. The saddest part for me was when the lonely rose in the woods looked upon its reflection in the Toaster and tried to embrace it only for the Toaster to walk away. The rose slumped and wilting was powerful...too powerful...Anakin Skywalker powerful.

Quite a few memorable songs in it too, which I usually hate in animated films. Sadly they made sequels which are hollow in comparison to this classic animation!

You should try it, if only for the outlandish feats they accomplish.

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Can you see but can't you.

Posted : 13 years, 1 month ago on 29 March 2008 10:19 (A review of Premonition)

Saturday Nights always brings a host of new films onto Sky Movies. I usually put one of my weekend days aside to make time to watch these films.

Premonition is a borderline fantasy/sci-fi film with a mysterious and engaging plot. Although it is literally explained throughout the days what is going on. I found it quite exciting to take each day as they came about.

The beef of story is set over 7 days in a crucial week for Sandra Bullock's character. However, they aren't in order! Mindfuck!

Linda (SB) is the only person aware of this causing most of the friction and revelations with the other characters. It is the first film in a while that has actually got me watching as opposed to looking at the screen.

Julian McMahon has breached Hollywood. Sky is the limit for him!

It was a toss up between marking this film as a 7 or not because by doing so I am recommending it to anyone engaging my profile. I enjoyed it enough to review on my busy night in!

Sort it out bruv!

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Posted : 13 years, 1 month ago on 29 March 2008 08:06 (A review of Hoodwinked! (2005))

I didn't have good expectations for this film then I watched it and proved myself right. It was terrible.

The characters were Cliche of Opposites. The villain was a 'Cute' Bunny, the Elderly Lady was a Thrill Seeking Dare Devil. I hated it.

Patrick Warburton's Voice has got to the point of annoyance now. The only person I feel sorry for in the cast is Jimmy Belushi, he should have had the pride to say no to his demented role.

The graphics of this film reminded me of old British kids shows like Bagpuss & Postman Pat. The alt-cool storyline couldn't save it either.

I was even saddened by the fact a sequel is planned. I guess only people with Car Avatars can love this kind of film.

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The sun needs new batteries.

Posted : 13 years, 1 month ago on 24 March 2008 06:59 (A review of Sunshine)

I was expecting a film like 'The Core'. Riddled with inaccuracies and soiled humour. However, this film isn't like that at all and I personally feel it is among the greats of modern sci-fi.

Danny Boyle has done some questionable work in the past but I believe this is one of his best films to date. The surrealism alone creates a unique atmosphere for such an alien and impossible concept.

The ensemble cast was reminiscent of Alien, where fewer is better. Chris Evans proves his talent as a versatile actor again and I'm hoping he has better things in his future.

I think it is safe to say that I'm in love with this film. I always think about watching it and I feel I may be obsessed. These emotions alone have secured it a place in my heart. I may have to re-rate....

I usually hate it when Sci-fi and Horror are mixed or grouped together. The addition of Pinbacker brought that extra milestone to the final resolution which the heroes needed to overcome.

A great film that should never be doubted at least one watch.

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This show should be buried with the reli

Posted : 13 years, 1 month ago on 24 March 2008 11:04 (A review of Relic Hunter)

It saddens me that Sky One still insists on showing this programme. They could show programmes like Dream Team but instead they have to torture us with this!

It follows the stories of a renegade archaeologist on her travels around the world. To add to the sexual appeal, she is a busty femme fatale. Pretty much jumping on the Buffy band wagon. She has her own Scooby Gang too!

Obviously it sucks Tomb Raider and Indiana Jones dry with references and leeching on their infamous fame!

Don't get me started on the humour. I cry.


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The Whole World is your Enemy.

Posted : 13 years, 1 month ago on 22 March 2008 05:34 (A review of Watership Down)

I plan to read the book sometime this year so my opinion is solely based on this film.

Although it is quite dark and gruesome at bits, I saw this film at a young age but wasn't distracted by the violence. Animted films with a grittier edge and underlying tone have always appealed to me much more than Disney films. Don Bluth was a great example of this.

The story starts with a Mythology behind the creation of the world and how rabbits became such underdogs in the world.

It then details the efforts of a small group of rabbits lead by a Seer. The Seer believes that their current warren is in danger but is brushed aside easily. His Brother, a strong willed and intelligent rabbit, believes there is truth to his prediction and rounds up their friends and begin an epic journey across the British Countryside to find a new warren, safe from man and the other oppressors!

It also shows an individual look into the 'politics' of rabbit warrens which I found quite interesting. The differences and, shockingly, the similarities between Woundwart and the Old Chief Rabbit shows that rabbits are a doomed race no matter how they live their lives. It reeks of allegory. Free-thinkers like Hazel, Fievel and their group are sneered at but make more sense than those in power.

I look forward to reading the book to futher my exploration into the Downs of Watership. I may even venture to the TV Series...

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Posted : 13 years, 1 month ago on 22 March 2008 03:25 (A review of Brother Bear)

When I saw the production of this film stated, I pretty much threw up in my mouth. Unclear why but I just hated the thought of it.

I did go through a phase where after Lion King was released that I hate all of Disney films. Pocahontas, Tarzan, Hercules, Mulan, This! I never gave a chance. I did though.

The film was delightfully sentimental. The young tribesman and his brothers discover their destinies from the local witch doctor and this literally throw their lives in turmoil.

The youngest kills a bear and coincidently is turned into a bear himself. Enter Bear on Bear duo! The ending alone choked me up, but I never cried. Sacrifice always makes a great ending to a film.

Phil Collins once again jumps in to do a Disney Soundtrack and makes it worthwhile.

Try it but don't buy it!

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