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All reviews - Movies (64) - TV Shows (18) - Books (6) - Games (30)

"lolol you call that drifting?"

Posted : 9 years, 4 months ago on 18 February 2008 01:26 (A review of The Fast and the Furious: Tokyo Drift)

This film is absolutely horrible. I feel ashamed. How many non-Japanese people live in Japan? A lot by this film and they all live in the same area! The main girl is so wooden that her bark could be convincing.

I always hated games like Drift Racer and a film about drifting fuels the fire! How easy ws it to raise money aswell for a new car? So easy, thats more Yen than I could count and accumulate in a lifetime.

Its only saving grace was Toretto's cameo. He was the only thing that made this franchise kick-off.


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Times 1000!!!

Posted : 9 years, 4 months ago on 16 February 2008 12:51 (A review of Sailor Moon)

I cannot remember for the life of me why I managed to watch numerous episodes of this show.

Its main redeeming feature was Tuxedo Mask and his awesome theme tune. Although, back then I couldn't find it on Kazaa :(. Now I realise he is very similar to the Angel character from the Buffy series.

The villains in this were annoying aswell. I remember two androgenous homosexuals and another guy called Malicite (H) who were always up to no good.

I wouldn't recommend it to anyone unless they are into girl power, very young girls at that!!


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I remember you.

Posted : 9 years, 4 months ago on 8 February 2008 03:45 (A review of Heroes)

"This show is a friendly mix between Lost and the 4400. The coincidental connection between the main cast mixed with evolutionary abilities!

I waited for the whole first season to finish before I started to watch them all in a row, which I am quite glad I did. The first few eps were so slow that I defo wouldn't have tuned in every week.

This kind of show requires a constant stream to keep it at the top. It has so much more to offer.

Zachary Quinto has been superb since his introduction in the series and it wouldn't be the same without him.

Keep 'um coming!"

I wrote this review 2/3 years ago and I feel like such a stupid wanker now. Heroes is one of the shittest programmes on television. The creators had a great idea at first and they just flushed it down the toilet. There are too many plot holes, inconsistancies and outrageous goofs to even count.

HURRY UP AND CANCEL THIS SHIT!


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Do you believe?

Posted : 9 years, 4 months ago on 8 February 2008 03:38 (A review of Lost)

I've watched this show since the beginning. I'm invested now and I just wanna see how it ends.

It may be confusing and lead you on but it has enough coverage in the media and contraversy to keep the viewership up.

I can see how it pisses people off. That it is too mainstream for the niches but not every show is meant for everyone.


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Front to Back Life

Posted : 9 years, 4 months ago on 8 February 2008 03:28 (A review of Goosebumps: The Cuckoo Clock of Doom)

During my youth I was encouraged to go to the library to read as part of a readership scheme. There would be a trolley of selected books which you would have a week to read and then come back, write something about it and then pick the next.

The first book I picked was the only Goosebumps on the rack. I finished this book by the next day!

For a younger readership, I'll always remember it as a enthralling adventure. I couldn't put it down and wnjoyed every second. I even went back to it afterwards to read the chapters I liked since I had 6 days left before I went back to the library.

The story is from the perspective from an ordinary young lad. His parents by a Cuckoo Clock which has a secret. After messing around with it, he realises that the secret is the clock is making him travel back in time. He relives his life at integral stages but has to figure how to stop before he experiences pre-life!

The twist at the end is the real kicker! I highly recommend for anyone who wants an easy and nostalgic read.


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I'll fight whoever just to fight.

Posted : 9 years, 4 months ago on 8 February 2008 03:17 (A review of Light a Last Candle)

This book was recommended to me by my Dad. Most books he take interest in are turn of the century crime or American Revolution related so when he handed it to me I wa a bit :-S.

He knew I just finished reading I Am Legend so he gave me the book as it is of a similar theme. The End of Civilisation.

I was thoroughly impressed. The book details the life of the Last Free Man on Earth after a brutal alien invasion. This post-apocalyptic world is not like we know it. The remains of the human race have been modified to the aliens will, the patrolling saucers devastate all who oppose and the weather is no longer constant.

A very interesting read if only to find out how it all turns out for the Ice Lover.


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SK in Triplicate

Posted : 9 years, 4 months ago on 8 February 2008 02:29 (A review of Suikoden III)

This game was a different take on the Suikoden format but it was by no means the wrong move.

The Trinity System allows the player to choose which order they want to play the story in.

There are 3 main characters: Hugo, Geddoe and Chris. All Unique and each have their own chapters to play. With so many crossovers and quests to partake its a shame that this was never released in the UK!

In contrast to other SK Titles, the Chief Star of Heaven isn't the lead character. The character Thomas fills this role but its more due to the fact that he owns the Castle Headquarters which brings the 108 Stars together.

The Destroyers were a fantastic amalgamation of villains that the series has ever seen. Power, Knowledge, Magic. They had everything and they were so close to succeeding which makes the Trinity Heroes struggle more of a challenge.

Another Classic from the Konami Series.


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Northern Woe

Posted : 9 years, 4 months ago on 7 February 2008 11:20 (A review of Flashdance)

I loved the soundtrack (very retro for me.)

However, the whole film made me feel depressed. Like a classic Northern British film. I did enjoy the ending, it gave the film the lift it needed but too late.

It also makes me wonder why films like this are made. Where the entire outset is depressing and its not until the climax that you actually understand there is hope. I don't want to say this film is pointless but I felt it add nothing but years to my life.


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Donnie Darko TV

Posted : 9 years, 4 months ago on 5 February 2008 09:01 (A review of Life on Mars)

Though I am British and love to support my countries attempts to breach out in the new media market, with this route they are doomed to suffer.

Take a generic time travel idea and mix in taboos and a poor cast and this is exactly what you get on Mars.

It tries to be intelligent, it tries to be funny but I feel nothing but shame. Its like watching a drunk uncle at a party. Ashes to Ashes should never see the light of day.


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The End is everywhere.

Posted : 9 years, 4 months ago on 4 February 2008 05:00 (A review of Command & Conquer 3: Tiberium Wars)

In terms of strategy games, there is none more renowned than the Command & Conquer series. Set in three different timelines on Earth which all provide interesting and addictive gameplay for all types of fans. The Original Command & Conquer game starts in late 20th century where an alien substance, known as Tiberium, starts to pollute the world. This story has evolved for over a decade now, following three major wars and the very fate of the planet at stake.

The third Tiberium War was recently witnessed by players in EA’s new sequel: Command & Conquer 3: Tiberium Wars. The world has changed since the last war. Tiberium is literally choking the life of the planet. The world has been split into three different zone types classified by Tiberium infestation. Red Zones are totally uninhabitable and can no longer sustain life; this covers 20% of the world. Yellow Zones are more numerous, covering about 50% of the globe where a majority of the world’s population live, it contains tiberium crystals in random and various quantities. Blue Zones are the Havens on Earth, which is where the Tiberium hasn’t been able to reach due to the continual efforts of the world government.

The player has the choice between playing as the infamous cult, the Brotherhood of NOD, or the UN’s high-tech Global Defence Initiative (GDI) in the campaign mode. Both have their own goals which conflict with the other creating battles on massive scales. The GDI wants rid of the Tiberium infestation as it is ruining the ecosystem of the planet but NOD believe it to be the key to human evolution because of its mutating properties. EA have also added a new faction, which fits the mythos of the Tiberium series quite well. The Scrinn are an alien race coming to Earth to harvest the ‘Ichor’ (Tiberium). It is hinted that they sent the first tiberium crystals to Earth so they could harvest it years later once it took over. However, they never expected lifeforms to still be present and therefore see humanity as a threat so a three-way world war begins.

Each faction has been refitted with a new arsenal of weapons and innovative technology to aid their causes. While all unique, each faction has 3 different tiers of Units with varying power so the player can progress from basic weaponry to state of the art technology to best their opponent. You can also upgrade your units, which is new to the Tiberium Series; it was first used in the spin off C&C Generals. Upgrade your infantry’s armour, add a mortar to your scout buggies or even replace your tanks primary cannons with rail-gun or laser technology.

NOD strategy counts on hit-&-run tactics and so they rely on cloaking technology, chemical warfare and laser technology. GDI has the backing of the official world Government so it has the funding to rely on groundbreaking technologies like rail-gun emitters, sonic technology and the Ion Cannon. The Scrinn are an alien race and it is beyond obvious to say that the weapons they will be using are out of this world!

Multiplayer brings the usual online play between fans over the globe, with the ranking and clan system still intact. With the new C&C Online TV, replays and league tables are reviewed on a regular basis. This is an ingenious idea by the creators as it allows the players to get recognition for their efforts online and allow the fans to be updated on the latest news and reviews.

Command & Conquer provides the player with fresh ideas and new concepts for the modern RTS. With the series still expanding and popular amongst the die hards out there, it is safe to say that expansions and further instalments are in the pipeline.


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