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All reviews - Movies (64) - TV Shows (18) - Books (6) - Games (30)

I conquer with everything you say!

Posted : 9 years, 3 months ago on 8 March 2008 04:33 (A review of Command & Conquer: The First Decade)

An Amalgamation of everything Command & Conquer up to the release of Tiberium Wars was a fantastic concept for the modern age!

Most of my old CDs no longer worked on XP and I doubt they will ever work on Vista. This game brings back those nostalgic days of my youth when I lived, breathed and dreamed of C&C Warfare.

There are approximately 6 Core Games on the Disc and the majority have expansion packs so it evens out to 13 'games'. So for the tenner I paid for this (THANK YOU BOILERMAKERS!), I was and will always be loving it!

The fact that the Ant Missions are accessible again are amazing as they were my favourite divergence from the original games. It is so crude and Golden Age horror that the nostalgia continues.

The fact that Command & Conquer is split into three distinct Universes makes them all unqiue but all part of the same mythology.

Obviously Generals is the weakest as it reeked of EA. But there will always be a battle raging between the Red Alert Timeline and the Tiberium Timeline. I don't think I could ever choose between them.

This series will be like Final Fantasy where they will keep chucking them out. We got Kane's Wrath released at the end of this month and Red Alert 3 by next year. Whats next? Generals 2 or a completely new C&C altogether?

I highly recommend this for people who love evolving strategy game series'.


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My God!

Posted : 9 years, 3 months ago on 8 March 2008 02:46 (A review of Theodore Rex)

What is this? I cannot believe this made it past the toilet paper it was written on!

Sometime in the future, genetic engineers brought back Dinosaurs. However, they aren't the animals we know. They are more human-sized, can talk and have some sort of intelligence that I personally couldn't see!

By the looks of it, the entire civilisation was made more awkward for these DinoBlokes to co-exist with humans. The main dino had to have a car twice as big as him just to fit his tail in!

Its the kind of future where most of natural life in the world has suffered because of human devlopment. This was the only part of the film where I felt a sense of nobility. "They brought back the Elephant, the Lion and the Whale." I hope i'm dead long before any of those species die!

Thw villans and henchmen were overly camp or void of any real intellect. This is just Johnny Neumonic with Dinosaurs!

Whoopi Goldberg in PVC/Leather was horrible. She must have been at least 50 when she rolled over to do this film. Playing a bad-ass cop was a complete joke.

I would pay for every copy of this film to be destroyed!


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Trollshaw? More like not sure!

Posted : 9 years, 3 months ago on 8 March 2008 09:25 (A review of The Lord of the Rings: The Fellowship of the Ring)

I knew nothing of the Lord of the Rings before I went to see this film. It was simply something my life didn't have a need for up until that point. I saw it alone but that didn't make it any less enjoyable!

PJ gets a lot of flak for a lot of things but I think the Trilogy was in the right hands. He spent hours of his life trying to make these films into a decent piece of work that anyone could enjoy. From fans of the books to causla viewers. He couldn't please everyone but I think with what he set out to do, he did it fantastically.

The film starts with a recap of Middle-Earth in the past thousand years or so, which are all integral to the story of the One Ring. By a Mouse-Trap of coincidences, the One Ring ends up in the possession of LOTR's main protagonist, Frodo Baggins.

His quest is to destroy it as only evil will come of it. Sauron, the main bad ass, is meant to be an omnipresent form but is singularly symbolised by a flaming lidless eye on the top of Barad-dur. I felt this limited the potential of the Dark Lord but it was easier for viewers to understand with the visual stimuli.

My favourite part of the film is how epic the struggle is for the Fellowship. They are the Underdogs by far, yet they push and shove their way through tremendous amounts of hardship.

Visually, the entire film was perfect. Every set was how you would imagine it, it was authentic to an extent that Middle Earth existed through the lense of the cameras! Just thinking about it makes me feel lifted that cinema can create entire universes for anyone to enjoy.

I hate the fact that Orlando Bloom got his stardom through this trilogy though. He has no talent. He plays the same character in every film. Plus, Legolas was my worst chaarcter of the trilogy. He was too much of a Deus Ex Machina.

Sean Bean, Sean Astin, John Rhys-Davis, Hugo Weaving, Ian Holm, Paul Whitehouse Orc were all fantastic in their respective roles. Mortensen & McKellen were, beyond any shadow of a doubt, the best casting for their roles. If anyone else had played Gandalf or Aragorn, it would have been a serious blow to the trilogy.

This is literally the first-step and I remember for the two Christmas' after its release. I was always gagging for the next installment. There is no other film of today that is on as grander scale as Lord of the Rings.


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Ja Rule = Waster!

Posted : 9 years, 4 months ago on 18 February 2008 11:33 (A review of The Fast and the Furious)

I hate cars. I hate people who talk about cars and only cars. But this film I liked.

One of the first films I got on DVD and had no choice but to watch it.

Vin Diesel plays an important part in this film and I feel without his unique stardom, this film would have died flat on its feet and wouldn't have spawned sh*t sequels.


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This is rumour control, here are the fac

Posted : 9 years, 4 months ago on 18 February 2008 11:26 (A review of Alien³)

This film had a lot of potential. If Fincher was given the space and creative rights he needed, this film could have been a classic.

However, I enjoyed it. The prisoners of Fury 161 were all believeable fellons who were seeking forgiveness until temptation crept back into their lives...

Now throw in a Xeno and you got yourself an even bigger crisis! The lead works setting is perfect for a horror film and the 'brown' theme was really appreciated.

The casting was fantastic aswell!


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The rays of the sun can defeat anyone.

Posted : 9 years, 4 months ago on 18 February 2008 05:36 (A review of Suikoden V)

Back to basics, this game was an extreme surprise. After the complete failure of IV, this game proved that the SK games can actualy survive in the 3D world!

You take on the role as a young Prince in the Queendom of Falenia. Anyway, bit of political tension and the Falenia suffers from a coup deter by a corrupt family, the Prince and his bodyguards are forced to go on the run.

Eventually you get back to the set-up where you must recuit the other Stars of Destiny and free Falenia from oppression!

6-character parties are back with new formations. Land, aswell as sea battles on a grander scale. An improved gaphics engine and an entirely new continent for you to explore.

If you want a modern version of the old SK's this is as close as you are going to get. Absolutely fantastic.


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Your move.

Posted : 9 years, 4 months ago on 18 February 2008 04:14 (A review of Chess)

The Game of Kings. Patience, Foresight, Strategy are all key to playing this game.

At Uni, we had (dare I say it) a Chess League Table in my house. The 5 of us would play each other twice and gain points for victories and piece differences. Its that kind of competition that makes the game more lucrative.

This game will be around forever, so you might aswell love it and learn it!


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Mission: War!

Posted : 9 years, 4 months ago on 18 February 2008 03:59 (A review of Judge Dredd)

What a great film.

I'll always enjoy watching this film because of its over the top nature! The action, the graphics it all adds up in the dystopic Mega City!

Based on the comic book series of the same name, Judge Dredd is a Law Enforcement Officer in one of the most bleak futures imagineable. Chaos, War and Crime are a constant, so there are drstic measures taken to fight it!

I also love the fact that everyone was made to look shorter so that Stallone looked an imposing size!

One of my greatest days at Uni was finding this on DVD for £2!


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You nutbar!

Posted : 9 years, 4 months ago on 18 February 2008 03:52 (A review of Kenan and Kel)

This is probably a really bad programme but I somewhat enjoyed it. One of Nickelodeons better live-action shows.

Follows the mischievous mishaps of two pals. Kenan was always scheming to get rich or get famous whereas Kel would usually foil it in the most obscene way!

Favourite gag was when Chris, the shop owner, would fail at everything in life.


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Sunstone? More like rock that glows!

Posted : 9 years, 4 months ago on 18 February 2008 03:45 (A review of Dinotopia)

My friend Gemma would constantly berrate me because I didn't love this show enough. She is probably the biggest fan of this programme ever!!!

I cringed everytime this was on. I used to religiously stay tuned to Sky One so I used to leave this on the TV while I did whatever.

The graphics were terrible, it was so cliche and I hated every minute of it.


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