All reviews - Movies (67) - TV Shows (18) - Books (6) - Games (29)

Not a looker in the bunch.

Posted : 1 year, 1 month ago on 31 August 2007 10:09 (A review of DOA: Dead or Alive)

This goes to prove that Eric Roberts being in a film will not automatically make it good.

This is probably the worst film I've seen all year, and the year hasn't even finished yet!!

I can't recall anything about it worth noting except there is no point in wasting your life with it!

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You can't shield them anymore.

Posted : 1 year, 1 month ago on 31 August 2007 09:46 (A review of Breath of Fire III)

This was the first game I requested upon recieving my first Playstation. The internet was scarce then and so reliance of Games Magazines was the only useful way to get Intel.

I read the article on it and saw all the visuals which were so bright and cartoonish it seemed like a dream. I got the game at Christmas and moved through it so quickly that the first chpater was over in an hour or so.

Luckily the game had so much more to it. Following Ryu and his companions across the world in search of answers was a whirlwind journey which sadly has never been replicated again.

The Masters system was a favourite concept to the game. I found myself not wasting any levels on characters without them learning new skills from a Master.

The game is a timeless classic and will always hold a place in my heart for years to come.

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My Dogs are barking!

Posted : 1 year, 1 month ago on 31 August 2007 09:12 (A review of Planes, Trains & Automobiles)

I never actually appreciated this film until I was a teenager. I can't remember why but I didn't hold it in high regard until I was about 14 when I watched the most ancient of VHS's.

Its Thanksgiving and Neal Page (Steve Martin) an uptight, judgemental advertising exec needs to get home cross country to his family. He manages to hit a low on luck and every attempt to get home is foiled. The situation is made even worse when he keeps running into his binary opposite, Del Griffith (John Candy). A slobbish, blabber mouth salesman who can't do anything to stay in Neal's good books.

"I can no longer look at John Candy without imagining him as the Devil." is a common quote I hear after watching this film with a new or old viewer. Probably the most iconic scene of the film. After a few mishaps, Neal & Del are driving on the wrong side of the road. Cut to the chase, they come face to face with two juggernauts. Barely scrapping between the two hulks of engineering, the two unfortunate souls scream for their lives and spend a brief frame as a pair of wailing skeletons. As Neal turns to his left to see Del, donned in full Devil geddup, driving the doomed vehicle and laughing to Holy Hell. Comedy Class.

I've been on a lot of cross country roadtrips but none of them as hillarious as this. The film does make you think though, about the lengths we go to to be with the ones we love and that no matter what or who gets in your way you shouldn't give up. The relationship between Neal and Del is also a point of interest. They are completely wrong for each other. They shouldn't even be in the same places but fate just keeps magnetising them back to the woeful circumstances that they face throughout their trip.

The sorrowful revelation about Del's past really does open a crater in your chest. A man who seems to be at the top of his game, overly joyed, friendly and helpful harbours a pain that only few people at his age have to suffer. His influence and good-spirits spills over onto Neal which leads to the resolution between the two.

Absolutely littered with cameos, fun and frolics. Anyone born or grown up in the 80s should see this film!!

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LET'S ROCK!!!!

Posted : 1 year, 1 month ago on 31 August 2007 08:55 (A review of Aliens)

I absolutely cherish this film!!!

I can't remember a time in my life where this has let me down. I've watched it close to a thousand times and enjoy it thoroughly everytime.

The introduction of the USCM is one of its crowning achievements. The galaxy's most bad ass hombres to ever sail the cosmos. It is an utter shame though they only debut and star in this film.

Alien was superior for its horror connotations but Aliens manages to compliment the series with a spectacular action flick.

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COME ON YOU DRAGONS!!!

Posted : 1 year, 1 month ago on 31 August 2007 06:07 (A review of Dream Team)

Anyone who knew me ten years ago would think that if I watched this, I was joking. I had no interest or like for football.

However, when I watched the crooked and outrageous happenings of Harchester United. I was hooked. I've been a loyal fan right up until the end of the tenth season which was sadly the last.

Loads of memorable characters like Jerry Block, Viv Wright, Prash Ditani. Not forgetting Linda Block and Karl Fletcher.

I've been dying to get a Dragons shirt for ages but the price is always too steep when I come round to acquiring!

Solid and addictive!

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I'm fighting in the shade mate!

Posted : 1 year, 1 month ago on 25 August 2007 03:06 (A review of 300)

I'm a massive fan of the Battle of Thermopylae. There is no greater instance in history where spear and shield meet. Outnumbered and outgunned but never outdone.

There is partial story to the film but it is the visuals and the action that makes me really appreciate this comic-style work.

This movie is masculine enough to fit into the genre of films like Predator, the entire group is just a manly muscle fest which is what recent cinema has been lacking.

Their efforts maybe fruitless but the leadership and valour can't be ignored. After seeing this film, I'd join the Spartans. There is not a real man alive who wouldn't!

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France...I might have known.

Posted : 1 year, 1 month ago on 22 August 2007 12:55 (A review of An American Werewolf in Paris)

What a joke. I didn't like this film at all. The entire cast was boring and uninteresting.

I made a sandwich in the middle of the film, came back and nothing had happened.

It's atempt at humour aswell was attrocious. I'll have nightmares about those 'gags'.

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Skulls

Posted : 1 year, 1 month ago on 22 August 2007 09:19 (A review of Pathfinder)

I thoroughly enjoyed this film. There should be more Viking films to follow this jewel in a sea of emptyness. A young lad is left behind by his people and is raised by Native Americans, then he has to choose his path when the Vikings return.

The story is easy to follow and they throw in a few dream moments for good measure so its not trying to grab your thoughts, it just wants to amaze your eyes. The gothic and morbid locales give the film an extra sense of grim that you wouldn't expect from the New World. Skulls littered under every tree and darkness forever more. It was probably the best time to be there!

The action is well choreographed and you see every near-miss with a blade swing. No need for CGI, it all happens between the stuntman and I'm sure KU had a few moments in the spotlight too!

The Vikings are portrayed perfectly to their stereotype. Villainous and bloodthirsty throughout, I couldn't imagine them being more unforgiveable. Clancy Brown was great casting in my opinion as the warlord leader. They are almost animalistic in their mannerisms and vocalisations which helps with their crusade to wipe the land clean for Viking dominance. I want one of those helmets!!

The films deserves some respect.

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Gargoyles review

Posted : 1 year, 1 month ago on 18 August 2007 12:47 (A review of Gargoyles)

I agree wholeheartedly with SuperSpongy.

Not only was the voice acting fantastically casted, regulars and cameos but for a kids show it was more grimey and dark.

The obvious weakness of the gargoyles created that human error about their fantastical being. Their reliance on others was truly an aspiring narrative theme.

I will miss it!

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Anytime...

Posted : 1 year, 1 month ago on 18 August 2007 10:43 (A review of Predator)

What a supreme flick! Even after 20 years, this film still holds its ground against the action 'titans' of today. An absolutely outrageous, over muscled, gung-ho, special forces military team are sent into the rainforests of South America to rescue a missing US Chopper. 'Cept not being able to save the personnel of the downed craft, the mission goes perfectly. However, they are being observed by an unknown entity.

The story starts quite slow but when they reach the Guerilla camp, it goes mental! The word overkill is not enough to describe the elation you feel when Dutch's team waltz in to a heavily fortified enemy stronghold and then walk out with a few scratches! The tone is always about waiting, everytime there isn't an immediate action shot, you are literally sitting there waiting for the next. It builds you up throughout the narrative so you are not left disappointed.

The casting for this film could not be improved upon. Bodybuilders, Athletes and Mr. Universe!! It is pure masculinity running through their veins. It goes to show the success of muscle bound hunks of the 80s really paid off. You didn't need Oscar winners or bright young stars; You need masculine men who could crush your dreams with a flutter of their eyebrow. Arnold Schwarzenegger plays the leader of the squad and with his star power made the film recognisable among the other action films that sprouted up at this time.

The soundtrack is to die for! Not only does it provide a perfect stalker theme but it manages to stay with you hours after watching. If P. Diddy - Bad Boy for Life & NERD - Lapdance weren't already my theme tunes. I'd pick the Predator Theme! Not to mention Long Tall Sally blairing at illegal volumes as they soar over enemy territory!

Starting a franchise aswell has got to be one of the greatest feats of this film. The notion of a deadly extra-terrestrial that has a sense of sportsmanship and honour with its killing gives it a whole new dimension. Usually their is no prejudice in a monster movie. It simply kills on contact! The Predator is one of the most iconic figures of the science fiction genre. This great film portrayed it/them in a way you could never forget.

The Predator series hasn't improved since this film but at least it has time to improve and grow...still!

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