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Reviews by Kryptic Centurion
Gangs of New York review
Posted : 1 year, 9 months ago on 11 February 2007 07:44
(A review of Gangs of New York)This main reason I didn't love this film was the DeCaprio voiceover. He'd explain, colour and feather every detail about life in New York but I couldn't care less. I just wanted him to be mute by the end. However, DeCaprio was a decent addition to the cast. I'm not jumping onto the hate wagon. Blade Runner did better without the voiceover, Scorsey could do wonders if he scrapped it in here. It's an enjoyable film, with a glorious cast but it just seemed like a weak attempt at showing off the early days of America.  0 comments, Reply to this entry
Double Team review
Posted : 1 year, 9 months ago on 11 February 2007 07:39
(A review of Double Team)Hahahaha! What a hoot. This is the most outrageous film I've seen this year. I've seen it in the past but not with an objective eye as now. I think every law of physics is just ignored and gravity doesn't exist either! It's just a poor man's/scripts Lethal Weapon with the token bi-racial duo. Van Damme pulls in his usual style of performance but everyone else is terrible. Mickey Rourke's CGI body is definitely one of the funniest moments, he's more greasy than a Foreman drip tray. Van Damme always does his best but i'm afraid the Tiger wins the Oscar this time! 0 comments, Reply to this entry
Rocky II review
Posted : 1 year, 9 months ago on 11 February 2007 07:33
(A review of Rocky II)Probably one of the weakest of the saga. It was essentially Rocky but with the hero at a new position. I got two favourite bits to this film. At the end of the usual montage when the whole town is chasing/running with him, to show that the Underdog is no longer alone and has a fanbase. He had proved his worth before and now people love him for it. Also, The final blow between Apollo and Rocky where they both hit the deck, it's the only time in the saga this could have been used because of how equal the heroes were. All the same cast, nothing new to add which is why it will never be among the greats. 0 comments, Reply to this entry
Very Bad Things review
Posted : 1 year, 9 months ago on 11 February 2007 07:26
(A review of Very Bad Things)This was a surprisingly interesting film. It reminds me of 'A Simple Plan' which I highly respect. How one little secret can explode into a grotesque and outrageous chain of events. Christian Slater proves useful in this film aswell as his name Boyd that made me laugh everytime i heard it. The ending leaves me feeling hopeless though. I guess everyone is punished for the parts they play. 0 comments, Reply to this entry
Anyone laughing?
Posted : 1 year, 9 months ago on 11 February 2007 07:17
(A review of My Family)Well most likely. I however didn't get the appeal of this show. Everyone would rage about it coming back for a new series but all I saw was a generic sitcom. The only feature that saves this programme is the addition of Robert Lindsey to the cast, who added the only talent to the mix. It's like a modern day Vicar of Dibley but that was only funny in the early 90s wen i was a pre-teen. 0 comments, Reply to this entry
A Film For Fools
Posted : 1 year, 9 months ago on 6 February 2007 07:12
(A review of Donnie Darko)*Yawn* What a snooze fest. I've had naps more productive than this film. It tries to have a philosophy when its clearly mundane and ordinary. I hope somebody lost their job over this so the footsteps can never be re-trod in. The whole plot was pointless, it literally makes iotself redundant making the whole thing a waste of time. Yes, its weird but that shouldn't be enough for critical acclaim! Majority of the characters just seem so phoney and fake with no real intention of being memorable. Jake Gyllenhaal is a terrible actor. I'm amazed that he still weasels his way into Hollywood. Him AND his sister need to get a career like a crash test dummy or mugasaurus. I'd gladly drop a plane on their Hollywood Home. 0 comments, Reply to this entry
I don't know why, I just do.
Posted : 1 year, 10 months ago on 24 January 2007 11:30
(A review of Dinosaur)I didn't go to the cinema to see this film nor get it on DVD straight away. I remember I saw a documentary on how it was made. Also, the fact that most of the scientific facts in the world were ignored just to make the film more 'cuddly' for kids. However, I just knew i'd enjoy it. I don't know why but theres something about this film that made me like it. Maybe the graphics, maybe the characters, maybe the themes. I don't kno but i'll rate it 6 regardless. 0 comments, Reply to this entry
This is an oldie!
Posted : 1 year, 10 months ago on 23 January 2007 06:49
(A review of The Court Jester)I can remember this as one of the earliest films out of my generation and out of my comprehension to watch. I'd watch it constantly trying to get the humour of a time now gone. It was mildly entertaining and I can still remember some of the classic gags. It seemed so much easier to be a script-writer back in those days. If I ever see this on DVD, i'm snapping it up before the next ice age! 0 comments, Reply to this entry
The Real Deal
Posted : 1 year, 10 months ago on 19 January 2007 05:39
(A review of X-Men)I've never read a comic book in my life and I never intend too. By watching this series (aswell as other Marvel classics), I learnt about the Marvel world of superheroes. Just by watching a few episodes disjointed I was able to fall in love with the characters and the stories. Plus, the series also dealt with loads of issues like race and discrimination which I never saw in any other programme I watched as a youth. The series portrayed lots of characters over the years and managed to make them all unique in certain ways, memorable and even useless but this TV series placed the building blocks to further develop X-Men in any medium. It's a hero to its cause, without this a lot of people wouldn't care about all the sequels and spin-offs now. I have always held a grudge against Fox when they dropped this show. They ruined something beautiful. 0 comments, Reply to this entry
Why bother?
Posted : 1 year, 10 months ago on 13 January 2007 03:01
(A review of High School Musical)I watched this film with my cousins as they got it as a christmas present. I didn't know what to think when I saw the DVD cover. The message is boringly clear from the beginning. About stereotypes and groups at high school but as I watched my young cousins watch this and their IQs drop as they sing along to the most uninspiring lyrics, I felt there was no educational or moral value either. I know these days genres are thinning for new ideas but this just shows what a wrong direction producers are looking in. Even if I had a chance to go over the script/casting, it's not even salvageable. 0 comments, Reply to this entry
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